How Motherhood has Changed my Life!

I became a mother on May 10 2016, to a beautiful baby girl named Maya Spencer. I had an idea of what was to come. But as soon as she arrived I quickly realized that I actually had no idea. To be a mother truly is a gift. And that is how I felt during my pregnancy, during the first few months especially and of course that is how I STILL feel.

When I was pregnant I was the happiest person. I felt like God was blessing me so much, and would sometimes think this is too good to be true. I really understand now as a mother, the reason why other mothers would come up to me and tell me to really enjoy my pregnancy and to take it all in. It truly is like the honeymoon phase of having a baby. Every day I was just so ecstatic to know that I was carrying a new Life inside of me. There's many things you don't quite understand until you experience mother hood yourself. Like why your mom would always say "...you will always be my baby," or "you're still my baby." Even though your a full grown adult now...lol.

I wasn't really the type to go out before deciding to have Maya so I was okay with being at home all day everyday with her. I loved it, I would just stare at her for a good chunk of the day because I was just so in love. That's another thing, the love you have for your child is such a deep, unexplainable love. You feel it in every cell of your body. Once again I would often think, HOW!? How did I get to be so fortunate in receiving such a gift from God. I was given this precious life that I get to help nurture and mold in to the beautiful daughter I had always imagined and prayed for. If I didn't have the name Maya picked out for basically my entire life I would probably name her Gift ...lol (just kidding). But honestly that is what I see Maya, and motherhood as, my gift from God.

What I can honestly say about motherhood is that you have to get rid of all your ideations on how you "plan to parent" you child. It is not as easy as it looks OR sounds! Being a mother is HARD and nothing can prepare you, it takes work day in and day out. You become responsible for this new life, and all you want to do each and every day is your absolute best! Of course we can all say, "oh when I have kids I'm going to do this and they are going to be like that," but realistically you are just setting yourself up for failure when you do this. Because let me tell you some thing, that child is their own individual, with their own DNA and their own personality from the SECOND they enter in to this world! Which is a great thing in my opinion, we cannot all be the same or expect our kids to be exactly like us. The most we can do as parents is to try and instill in them good morals, teach them all that we know and model our best behavior. Because it is true, kids, especially toddlers :) will mimic every single thing they hear and/or see. And guess what, not everyone will understand it when your child is throwing a tantrum for no reason, or when their behavior is not 100% but let me tell you, most mothers will. It is usually the ones who have not yet joined the motherhood club who have THE most to say, or try to make you feel bad about your child's behavior. And to that I say, WHO CARES! Any good mother would understand that these are the stages of life, and are what we should expect as our children grow and become more independent and aware of themselves in this big, scary world.

As mothers we all have bad days. That is why it is so important to remind ourselves that the bad days (or moments) are only temporary and tomorrow is a new day. It is also really great when you have THE BEST life partner by your side each and every day. I would be lost without Ryeon! For me as long as my family is healthy and happy nothing else really matters. Along with motherhood comes patience, a sense of calmness and self-awareness. Now a days I do not stress about the things I cannot change, and I try not to take any moment for granted. Because essentially life is a gift, and being able to procreate is the best gift of all. It is my proudest accomplishment. I have grown to have so much more respect and appreciation for not only my mother (shout out to you mom), but for all mothers. It is hard, and in my opinion no one is ever truly ready, no matter how long you wait; but it definitely is life changing in the best way.

Thank you for reading my brief, but also pretty lengthy post on what motherhood means to me. And if you read all the way to here, you da real MVP! I truly appreciate it.

Be sure to comment down below with your opinions on motherhood, and/or what becoming a mother has done for you!

Til next time,

Shezel